Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure
by KievaLynn
Summary: This story is set in the same timeline as Kieva Lynn's Season Three, just prior to the events of the episode M.A.C.E., part one. Blunk and Napoleon try to capture the minor O.C. villains Johnny and Frankie. Summary included for the main story.
1. Summary

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" – Background

Author's Note: This story takes place in the same timeline as my first story, 'Kieva Lynn's Season Three', simultaneous with some of the later episodes. Naturally I would suggest you read that story first, but since it's quite long I'm providing enough information below for a reader who hasn't read the first story to know what's going on…

Background Information from Season Three: Warning: Spoilers for the Main story!

Following an attack on Meridian, Blunk decided to move to earth, because "No monsters here." He found a large, abandoned room in the Heatherfield sewers and built a home using materials from the city dump.

Miranda escaped from prison and fled to earth. She wasn't after revenge, just freedom. Following a series of events involving Martin and Alchemy, she began to realize that her outlook on life was flawed, and even turned herself in to the Guardians. As this story begins she is on probation, living in Heatherfield, attending school at Sheffield, and living with Cassidy as her combination parole officer/caretaker.

Alchemy knows the truth about the Guardians.

Martin knows the truth and is dating Irma.

Gideon is an original character. He is dating Miranda, who he thinks is from 'another country' but doesn't really know anything of the truth.

Johnny and Frankie are a pair of typical low-life criminals. They think that they are intelligent and competent crooks, but they're actually idiots. They have seen the girls in Guardian form, and mistook them for fairies. They've also seen Miranda change from human form into a leopard during the same incident. They are currently in hiding from the law, being wanted for theft and the attempted murder of Taranee's mother, a crime they tried at the instigation of one of season three's main villains.

As a consequence of meddling by the main villains of season three, the Guardian's families know the truth.


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter One

Heatherfield. Napoleon stalked his quarry with the efficiency and skill common to his kind, slinking in and out of alleyways, using whatever cover provided itself to stay hidden. He was following Miranda as she walked alone towards a destination he didn't yet know. It wasn't that he didn't trust the girl. Anyone who managed to resist Queen Neera's temptations had to be on the right side, as far as he was concerned. On the other hand, her past wasn't very reassuring either. And of course hunting and tracking skills had to be practiced or lost. He _needed_ to stalk after _someone_. It was just pragmatic to combine the two concerns this way, or so the cat convinced himself.

Ahead, Miranda turned a corner and continued out of sight. Napoleon hurried to catch up and regain visual contact. But when he turned the corner, the girl was gone. The cat hurried along the abandoned side street. He stopped, confused. "Where the…" he started to say, when he was suddenly lifted off the ground by the back of his neck and pulled into a narrow alley.

"Care to explain?" Miranda asked, holding Napoleon face to face. "Why are you following me? And by this I mean 'following me _again_.' You've been on my heels all week."

Napoleon sighed. "Sorry doll. I'm a cat, I've gotta hunt. You're convenient is all."

"Convenient or suspicious?" Miranda replied. "Look, I'll understand even if you never trust me. But I'd like to think maybe you could someday."

"I'd like to think that too. And, honestly, this latest thing with Neera has done a lot in that direction… I'm just not there yet is all." Napoleon answered.

Miranda knelt down and sat the cat back on the ground. "Fair enough. I'm just on my way to meet Gideon for lunch right now. Tag along if you want, they allow small animals at the outside tables." Miranda rose and continued on her way. Napoleon followed.

Several blocks away and deep underground, Blunk was happily working on his new home. Every day he discovered a new leak, where water had found it's way through the plastic roof lining to damage the heavy cardboard he had constructed the walls from. "Maybe city garbage dump not best place to find building materials…" he thought to himself as he patched the damage.

Finishing his work, Blunk turned to his visitor. "See Mama? Good as new!"

"Mama likes your house Blunky-boo," she replied, "Good location. But maybe should use real wood for the walls."

Blunk laughed. "No worries Mama." He said. "This house sturdy as a rock." To prove his point, Blunk punched the nearest wall. At first, nothing happened, seemingly proving his point. Then, with a sudden rumble the entire structure began to quiver. Blunk and Mama ran out the front door, barely making it before the whole thing collapsed in a heap.

Blunk looked at the wreckage, then at his mother. "So, what was that about wood?" he asked…

With Napoleon in tow, Miranda met Gideon outside the diner. "It looks like you've picked up a tag-along." Gideon said.

"Oh, him? Yeah, he's been following me around for awhile."

Bending down to scratch Napoleon's back, Gideon said "He looks familiar… yeah, isn't this Cornelia Hale's cat?"

"Maybe." Miranda answered. "All I know is he won't stop following me around. Anyway, he's friendly. So, you got us a table yet?"

"Right this way." Gideon said. He led them to a table near the doors. Menus were already in place. Miranda sat across from Gideon and Napoleon sat on the floor near her.

Elsewhere in the city, a pair of figures huddled behind a large dumpster, hiding from the police officers who had stopped a car on the side of the nearby road. "Youse tink dey seens us Johnny?"

"Nah. They'da already beens chasin' afters us if they had." Johnny answered.

"I'da know…" Frankie said, "Maybe theys just playin' dumb while other cops circle around us."

"Geez you're negative anymores, Frankie." Johnny replied. "It's just a traffic stop is alls. Calm down, we waits here 'til dey leave then go on our way."

"I guess so Johnny. It's just, what with all dat weird stuff awhiles back, I'm still jumpy."

"You an' me both Frankie." Johnny thought, but said nothing. Together, they watched for the next half-hour as the police finished their investigation and left. "There, youse see? Nothin' to worry about." Johnny said.

"Maybe one thing." Frankie said. "We're lates for da job now. Da guy'll be back home anytime. Plus, I'm getting' hungry."

"Well… Youse right about the job." Johnny agreed. "C'mon, I knows a good place ta eat, and it'll be easy ta run out on da bill."

"Sounds good to me." Frankie agreed…

After seeing Mama safely back to her home in Meridian, Blunk returned to earth determined to quickly rebuild his home. One thing was for sure; he wasn't wasting time with cardboard again. Mama was right, he needed real wood for the walls. But where to find it? "Blunk need smart advice…" he thought, "…and Blunk know just where to get it."

Taranee Cook sat at her desk, working on a research paper that was due the next day. She shook her head, upset to be on such a short deadline. Ordinarily she would have finished such an assignment weeks ahead of schedule. Leaning back, taking off her glasses to rest her eyes for a moment, the girl silently cursed Queen Neera and the Dominators for keeping the Guardians so busy lately.

As she slid her glasses back on and leaned forward to resume working, Taranee heard a knocking at her bedroom window. "Nigel." She thought. "If anything is worth taking a break…" she rose and ran across the room, threw open the window to find… "Blunk? What are you doing here?"

"Blunk need advice." The Passling said as he climbed in, "Where could Blunk find wood for, uh…" He paused, not wanting to reveal his handiwork hadn't held up. " …For little project Blunk working on…"

Taranee smirked at him. "The cardboard didn't hold up huh?" she guessed.

Shaking his head sadly, Blunk confessed "No. Whole house go crashing down."

"Why don't you just go buy some wood from the markets in Meridian?"

"Pay?" Blunk asked, shocked. "That go against Blunk's principles."

"Being cheap is a principle?" Taranee wondered. "Oh well. Best bet for free wood, go check dumpsters behind warehouses. I'm sure they throw away broken pallets and stuff."

"Ahh! Good idea. Blunk knew where to come for smart answer!"

"You're welcome I think."

"Now, youse remember da plan rights?" Johnny said to his partner as they approached the restaurant.

"Yeah Johnny, sure." Frankie answered. "We eats outside at a patio table. Dat way when we done, we don't even hafta get out a door to ditch on da bill."

"It's a miracle!" Johnny said, "Frankie gets a plan on the first try."

"Aw c'mon Johnny, I'm nots _that_ dumb."

"Oh yes youse is, Frankie. Youse like a stupid-seeking missile. Anyways, here we are. Order whatever youse want, it's on me."

"On you, 'cause we nots payin!" Frankie laughed, "Dat's a good one Johnny."

Johnny sighed, rolled his eyes, and opened the door. The two men walked through the inside dining area and out the patio doors. As Johnny looked around for an empty table near the edge of the patio, his eyes fell on an all-to-familiar face…

Miranda and Gideon had just received their plates when they heard a pair of terrified screams. Miranda looked to her left and saw two faces she hadn't expected to encounter again. "It's those crooks that tried to rob the shelter!" she thought. "I hope it wasn't me they were screaming about, how would I explain that to Gideon?"

It was clear to Miranda that she was the reason for their reactions, though. They were staring straight towards her. Then, as one both men screamed "It's that cat!" They jumped the patio railing and ran away as fast as they could…


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter Two

Watching Johnny and Frankie fleeing in terror, Miranda racked her mind, trying to think of a way of explaining away the reaction they had to her. Fortunately, Gideon unwittingly provided the solution for her. "Wow." He said, "Those guys are really afraid of cats. I guess maybe we shouldn't have bought Hale's cat in with us."

"Napoleon!" Miranda realized. She had been so worried that the cat's presence hadn't occurred to her. "Of course Gideon thinks they were afraid of Napoleon and not me!" She bent down and picked up the cat. "I'll be right back." She said, "I wanna take this guy outside in case those two work up the nerve to come back."

"Don't be long." Gideon said, "I'll get lonely."

Miranda grinned. "Two minutes." Outside, she carried Napoleon behind the restaurant and sat him down. Bending to her knees, she said "I'll try to call one of the Guardians. Meanwhile, can you follow them?"

"Sure thing doll." Napoleon said. "But, then, how will you find me?"

Miranda touched a finger to her nose. "I can track scents almost as well as you. If the Guardians don't catch up with you before my date's over, I'll come find you."

"Alright. Then again, maybe I'll be finished by the time they show up anyway." Napoleon turned and ran after the crooks…

Propelled by fear, Johnny and Frankie managed to run five full city blocks before slowing down. Exhausted, they slumped up against the wall of an apartment building. "What was she doing there Johnny?" Frankie asked between breaths, "I thoughts stuff like werewolves and werecats only came outs at night…"

"They only change at nights Frankie." Johnny answered, "Buts dey come out anytime dey wants."

"Good ting it's daytime then, huh Johnny?"

"Yeah… Look, Frankie, I don't wants ta scare youse, buts we should keep moving. She might be able ta tracks us by smell or somethin'."

Frankie turned white as a ghost after hearing this. "Ifs she can smells us, we's doomed Johnny. She'll tracks us down, wait 'tils dark, becomes a cat and eats us."

"Water." Johnny said. If's we crosses water it'll masks our scent see, den we steals a car or somethin' an get's outta town like we shoulda done in the first place."

"Dat's good Johnny. Let's goes, I knows a place on da other sides of the river where we can swipes us a truck." Johnny agreed, and they continued on their way…

Before returning to the table, Miranda had tried to call each of the Guardians. In every case, however, she got either a busy signal or no answer. "Wonderful." She thought. "All this incredible earth technology and you still can't get anyone when you need to…" Finally, she at least got voice mail on Elyon's phone and left a message detailing what was happening. Wishing she was free to catch up with the cat, Miranda instead returned to Gideon for lunch…

Block by block, Napoleon tracked the scent of the two criminals. "This is more like it." He thought, "A real hunt for real prey. I can't wait to catch up. Think maybe I'll scare them a little before I corner them."

He found the spot where they had briefly stopped, and continued past it without slowing. "Now I'm gaining on them. They're getting tired." He continued on, becoming suspicious of where the path seemed to be leading. He knew they were heading towards the river that bisected the city. "Surely they won't try to swim across to mask the scent trail." He thought, "It's a wide river, lots of undercurrents. If they tried to swim, this isn't a hunt anymore, it's a body-search."

But when Napoleon found the place where Johnny and Frankie had crossed the river, he couldn't help but laugh: They had crossed on an interstate highway bridge. "Oh, that's rich." The cat thought. "They think crossing water, _on a bridge_, will mask their scent…" He lost several minutes, unable to continue until his laughter was under control…

A series of large dumpsters lined the back wall of the Pine Company warehouse. The warehouse employees didn't need to actually come out into the back alley to throw away trash, thanks to chutes in the wall, so there was no one around to hear the rummaging sounds coming from the largest bin, or to see the wood boards being thrown out over the edge.

Inside the dumpster, Blunk had found Passling heaven; everything he needed to rebuild his home in the sewers. "Blunk got to remember to thank Fire Guardian again." He thought, "This was best idea ever."

It briefly crossed Blunk's mind that he wasn't sure how he was going to get these new supplies back to his home site. This place was a lot further from home than the city dump, and the wood was heavier than cardboard. It also occurred to him that maybe he should have cleaned up the wreckage of the old house before starting to drag in supplies for the new, as well. Before he had time to act on that thought, a mass of new trash poured out of the chute above, just missing his head. Blunk looked at the new arrivals. "Mother Load!" he exclaimed, forgetting what he had been thinking a moment before…

Up the interstate embankment, across the bridge, and into an industrial park Napoleon followed the scent trail. As he went he let his mind wander onto various ideas for ways to approach the two men when he caught up to them. "Maybe I should stroll up, act like a normal cat, then transform while they pet me." He thought, "That'd be great. Or maybe I should just come at them in Regent form, let them think I'm something Miranda turned into… So many options, all of them funny. How will I ever choose?"

"Where exactly are we goin's Frankie?" Johnny asked, "My feets is killin' me now."

"Nots much further Johnny." Frankie answered. "See, der's a lotta warehouse places around here. And somes of 'em don't man da guardposts at da truck entrances too well. Its'll be easy ta slip in one and nab a big truck."

"Hmmm… Dat's not half bad fors you Frankie." Johnny said. "One change though, we not gonna steal a big truck. Dat's just askin' ta end up with a hundred cops on our tail. Too obvious like. What we'll steal is a car from the employee lot."

"Good thinkin' Johnny."

"I know. See, what we'll do is, we watches for someone who's jus comin' in to work. Dat way, we gots hours before the police get called." Johnny said.

"Y'know Johnny, I was thinkin… Maybes our luck _is _changin' for da better. I means, sure we ran into da cat-thing again… But ats least it's was _just_ her dis time. No fairies."

"Don'ts jinx it by sayin' it Frankie." Johnny answered.

"Dis ways Johnny." Frankie said. "Da Pine company _never_ has a guard at da post."

"Good." Johnny replied, "I'm tellin's ya Frankie, I couldn't run another foot if my lifes depended ons it."

As the two men walked down a back alley towards the warehouse gate, they came across a huge pile of wood in front of an open topped dumpster. Then, before their eyes, a small green figure climbed over the lip of the dumpster and jumped to the ground.

In the dumpster, Blunk decided he had found more than enough to start with. "Better go," he thought, "Or Blunk will be here all night." He threw one last board over the edge, then climbed to the rim and scrambled out.

After jumping to the ground, his mind still on the topic of how to transport his new goods, Blunk suddenly realized that he wasn't alone. He turned to see a pair of humans staring down at him, eyes wide and mouths hanging open.

Blunk decided the best thing to do was introduce himself. He raised a hand to wave…

Johnny and Frankie stared at the creature before them. It raised a hand. Waved. "Hello!" it said, "Me Blunk. Who are you?"

"GOBLIN!" Both men screamed at once. Frankie ran for all he was worth, and in spite of his earlier comment to the contrary Johnny also found the strength to run. They sprinted away and rounded the nearest corner of the warehouse building, leaving the bewildered Passling behind…


	4. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter Three

"Goblin?" Blunk repeated. "GOBLIN?" He was indignant. "Blunk not Goblin! Blunk Passling!" He shook his head, incredulous. "Goblin!" he snorted.

As the annoyed Passling continued to protest the insult, Napoleon rounded the corner. "Oh, it's you." The cat said. "I thought I smelled something. Say, did you happen to see a pair of really dumb humans run by here?"

"See them? Blunk try to be friendly, look where it got Blunk! They called Blunk goblin! Goblin! Can you believe it? Blunk never been so insulted in all Blunk's life!"

"Look bub, these are the guys that tried to off Tara's mom for some reason. You wanna come with me, I'll have even more fun options when we catch up." Napoleon said.

"Oh, Blunk come along alright!" the Passling answered. "Blunk got score to settle now…"

"What have I started here?" Napoleon wondered as he ran to catch up with Blunk, who was already hot on the trail.

As they ran side by side, Johnny said to his partner "That's it Frankie. I don't cares if I haves ta walks da whole ways, I'm not gonna be in this town come sunset tonights."

"I dunnos Johnny," Frankie replied, "You knows how it goes in da horror movies… Da guy outs in da middle a nowhere get's torn ta shreds first."

"Dat's da movies Frankie. All I knows is, dis town's getting' infested with fairy-tail freaks, and I want's outs."

"Yeah. It's too bad dat we not likely ta stumble across a magic wand or somethin's."

Johnny stopped running. "Frankie, dat's it!" he said. "We's not likely ta find a magic wand or an enchanted sword or nothing. Youse right der. But, da Goblin don't know dat, does it?"

Confused, Frankie asked "Youse losts me Johnny. Where youse goin' wit dis?"

Rooting about in a pile of trash along the side of the alley, Johnny explained "Goblins is fairy-tale stuff, rights? Magic stuff'd hurt them, so dey gots ta be afraids of it…"

"So?" Frankie asked.

"So, all we gots ta do, is makes somethin' what looks like a magic staff, then when da Goblin gets here, we tell's it dat we got's a magic weapon. Its'll run away and we'll be safe." Johnny fished an old rusty pipe about two feet long out of the debris. He attached a dirty but intact globe shaped light fixture to one end. "There." He said. "Our 'magic wand.' Now, listen close Frankie, you got's ta get dis on the first try…"

Stalking the hoodlums, Napoleon turned to Blunk and said "Here's the plan. These two are total morons, and cowards to boot. If they think you're a goblin, and that scares them, then we need to use it."

"Blunk still mad. If Blunk can get even by being scary goblin, that's what Blunk will do."

"Good. What we'll do is, you'll go first and I'll come up behind you. I won't change into Regent form until I have to though. Hopefully, they'll try to 'rescue' the poor wittle puddy-tat from the mean goblin, then I'll change while I'm standing behind them. It'll be hilarious."

"Blunk like plan." The Passling said. "Can Blunk make loud scary monster noises at them?"

"Knock yourself out."

Miranda's date ended early, when Gideon was unexpectedly called home by his parents. "Sorry, I had planned to walk you home." He said.

"That's okay, things come up." Miranda said. She was really thinking "Good, I won't have to backtrack all the way here to start following the trail." She stood, watching Gideon jog away, until he was out of sight. With a sigh, she turned, found the trail, and rushed to catch up.

"So what were you doing in that dumpster anyway?" Napoleon asked Blunk. "Don't you Passlings ever get tired of garbage?"

"What humans call garbage Passlings call treasure." Blunk answered. "Silly humans, always throw away things still perfectly good."

"If you say so. Me, I prefer my stuff new and clean… Hey, you smell that? We're getting close. They're only a couple minutes ahead of us now."

"Good. If they want goblin, they get goblin!" Blunk said.

Napoleon laughed. "That's the spirit kid."

"Okay, now repeat the plan backs so I know youse gots it." Johnny said.

"You'll wave da fake wand ats da goblin, and I'll shout something, like a name for da wand dat sounds likes a real magic weapon thing."

"Right. That's what'll makes da goblin think it's real, so youse gots ta make da name convincing Frankie."

"But Johnny," Frankie protested, "I dunno what's ta calls it!"

"Just makes's somethin' up's, it's not dat hard."

"Alright's Johnny, I'll try."

"Good. Now gets ready, it's oughta be catchin' up any times now…"

Moments later, Blunk and Napoleon rounded the corner of a warehouse and saw their quarry. "This is it." The cat said, "Let's see your acting skills."

"Right." Blunk whispered back. He then raised both arms in what he hoped was a menacing posture and ran towards the two men. "Rarrgh!" he screamed, "Rarrrgh! Me Blunk! Me scary goblin! Be afraid! Raarrrgh!"

Johnny stepped into Blunk's path and raised the fake 'magic wand.' He realized Frankie wasn't saying anything. "Frankie!" he whispered urgently, "Frankie, say somethin'!"

"Oh, right… Umm…" As Blunk drew closer, Frankie searched his mind for some kind of good name for a magical weapon. Then he got it…

"Go Johnny! Go!" Frankie shouted, "Smite The Goblin With Your Staff Of Whacking!"

Silence followed in the wake of Frankie's words. Johnny stared at his friend in disbelief. Blunk looked at Napoleon. Napoleon looked at Blunk. They both broke into shocked laughter, rolling around on their backs, hysterical that Frankie had said something so utterly ridiculous.

Johnny recovered first, dropping the rusty pipe, grabbing Frankie by the arm, and pulling him along as they ran from their pursuers, who were still laughing too hard to give chase. "Staff of Whacking?" Johnny demanded, "Staff… of… Whacking….? God youse an idiot!"

"It's worked didn't it's Johnny? It's not chasin' us!"

"Maybe nots now, but when it stops laughin', see, it'll be all over us." Johnny answered. "Now let's move before youse can get's us killed." Together they fled…


	5. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter Four

Miranda followed the trail across town, over the interstate bridge, and into the warehouse district. Came across a pile of wooden planks reeking with the stench of Passling. Continued on until she rounded a corner and found Napoleon and Blunk rolling around on their backs laughing. She stared for a moment, then got their attention by clearing her throat. "Care to explain?" she asked as the cat rolled back onto his feet.

"It'd take too long right now doll." Napoleon answered. "Question though, are you sure we've actually got to send them to jail? Frankly, the humor value'd make them worth keeping around."

"Have you forgotten these guys tried to kill Taranee's mother? So dumb it's funny or not, they're dangerous."

"I suppose so. It's just too bad is all."

"What exactly happened here anyway?" Miranda asked, "Or do I want to know?"

Blunk answered "Blunk tell you what happen! Dumb ugly humans call Blunk Goblin! Can you believe the nerve?"

Looking askance at him, Miranda said "Having met goblins, I've got to point out that there IS a resemblance between them and Passlings…"

"Whoa. Burn bub." Napoleon said.

Blunk was not amused. "Resemblance? Passlings light green, goblins blue green. Passlings three feet tall, goblins two and a half! Passlings have wonderful stench, goblins smell…" Blunk shuddered, "… good!"

"Okay, okay. I'll let it go. But surely that's not all they did." Miranda answered.

Napoleon explained "They also tried to scare him away with a fake 'magic wand'. You don't want to know what they called it."

Miranda picked up the rusty pipe. "This piece of junk?"

"Ooo…" Blunk said, walking over and taking the pipe from her hand. "Nice workmanship in metal. Maybe Blunk install plumbing in new home as well. Mind if Blunk keep?"

"It's all yours." Miranda answered. She turned to the cat. "Smells like they went south from here. You still on the trail?"

"You bet. Let's go."

As they ran through the narrow back alleys of the Heatherfield industrial district, Johnny kept his eyes open for something that would give him a plan. Finally he saw it and yelled for Frankie to stop running. "Whats you got Johnny?" Frankie asked.

Johnny motioned towards the back of a fenced off building. "Checks it out. A perfume factory. We goes in der, the smell'll hides us good. Not ta mention, der should be people workin'. I don't tink da goblin will follow us where other people's will sees it."

"Dat's a good plan Johnny." Frankie agreed. He pulled out a pair of wire cutters and started making a hole in the fence. As he worked, Frankie said "Hey Johnny, I don't wants ta sound nutball or nothin' buts did you notice dat it wasn't just the goblin what laughed at what I said?"

Confused, Johnny asked "What'dya mean?"

"Dere was a cat too." Frankie replied, "A normal cat, likes a housecat, or so it looked like at first. But whens da goblin started laughing, I swears it rolled on it's back and started laughing too."

Johnny searched his memory. "Holy cow, youse right!" he exclaimed. "And youse know what Frankie? I seen dat cat somewhere before… Yeah! Yeah, it was with da cat-thing in da restaurant! Frankie, we's got a problem! Deese tings, dey workin' togethers see?"

"So what does we do?" Frankie asked as he finished cutting the fence.

"We get's inside where dey can't smell us, for now. After dat, I dunno."

Together, the men squeezed through the chain link fence, then carefully moved it back into place hiding the cut as best they could. They turned and ran across the concrete lot to the factory's back door. "We're good now Frankie." Johnny said as he picked the lock. "Probably, da goblin won't reveals itself ta other people, so it won'ts follow us in. But if it does follow, we's still better off, 'cause we'll have help."

Johnny picked the lock and opened the door. Beyond lay the factory interior, crowded with machinery, working tirelessly to produce it's products… …and totally automated. There were no people in sight. "Now what?" Frankie asked…

Elyon returned home to find the light for the answering machine blinking. Pressed the button and skipped through the first few messages from telemarketers. Then the fifth call caught her attention. "_Elyon,_" Miranda's voice said, "_I__ran__into__the__two__guys__from__the__shelter__robbery.__Can__'__t__follow__myself,__Gideon__'__s__waiting__on__me,__but__Napoleon__is__tracking__them.__I__haven__'__t__been__able__to__contact__the__Guardians,__so__please__call__me__back__when__you__hear__this__message.__"_

Elyon turned off the machine and thought for a moment. She could contact the other girls telepathically and have them join in. "But it's just a pair of low-life loser hoods." She thought. "Surely it won't take all the Guardians for that. And besides, I wanna see for myself that I can handle this." She dialed Miranda's cell phone…

Meanwhile, Napoleon, Blunk and Miranda had tracked the hoodlum's scent trail to what looked like a dead end. "They climb over fence?" Blunk wondered.

Napoleon walked to the fence, smelled the chain links at the bottom, then stood on his back legs and smelled again higher up. "I don't think so. No scent on the links up here."

"They can't have doubled back." Miranda thought, "We'd have noticed two distinct trails where they left their first path…"

"Look! Look look!" Blunk exclaimed. He pointed at a part of the fence. "Blunk thought fence was broken here. But look!" He pulled the links where Frankie had cut them, opening a hole.

"Not bad bub." Napoleon said. "Man, I feel like punching myself for not seeing that."

Miranda's phone began to ring as she bent down and stepped through the hole in the fence. "_I__got__your__message.__"_ Elyon said when she answered. "_Any__word__yet?__"_

"Gideon had to go home early, so I caught up. They've gone into some kind of factory. We're heading towards the door right now."

_"__Send__the__location__to__my__phone,__I__'__ll__join__you__there.__" _Elyon answered.

Miranda needed instructions on how to access and send GPS data to Elyon's phone, but after walking her through the process the queen saw where they were and teletransported there. "Whoa. When did Blunk get into this?" she asked.

"Long story." Napoleon and Miranda said simultaneously.

The Passling said, "Blunk sewer house fall apart. Blunk look for wood to build new house. Mean stupid men insult Blunk. That whole story. Not long at all."

"We stand corrected." Napoleon said. "Now let's focus, Johnny and Frankie are in there."

Elyon followed the cat's gaze to the factory building. "Hey, I know this place! They make stuff like cologne and shampoos here."

" I wonder how many people are working inside?" Miranda wondered.

"Probably not many, these places are all robots anymore." Napoleon answered her.

Elyon glance down at the cat as they reached the door. "Isn't it time for you to Regent-up?"

"I'm saving it for effect. Trust me doll, when I do it right in front of them it'll be awesomely funny."

"Alright. Let's get this over with." Miranda pulled open the door, and they were all struck by the powerful, overwhelming smell of perfumes from within. "Trouble." She said, "Even my nose can't track their scent through this."

"Mine either." Napoleon said.

"Well, at least it's a pleasant smell." Elyon said. "Hey Blunk, can you get their trail?" The Passling was on the floor retching. "Blunk? What's wrong?" Elyon exclaimed.

"Smell…" Blunk gasped, "Smell so good, it's horrible!" He tore two small shreds off of his vest and stuffed them in his nose. "Ahh… that better… Nice normal stink…"

Rolling her eyes, Elyon said "Okay, I guess we'll have to find them the old fashioned way."

"Luck?" Napoleon asked.

"Exactly."


	6. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter Five

Deeper and deeper into the factory, Johnny and Frankie fled from their pursuers. "At least I was rights about da smell." Johnny thought, "Dat Goblin shouldn't be ables ta track us now." The two men rounded a corner, found more corridors deserted except for themselves.

"I don't get's it Johnny." Frankie said. "No way dis place is totally empty 'a peoples, dere's gotta be someone somewhere!"

"Yeah, there's us." Johnny answered. "Aw heck, I'm sure dere's a manned control room somewhere. We just got's ta finds it."

"Maybes up top? Let's tries da stairs." Frankie said, indicating a stairwell going up.

"Yeah, let's."

"I hear them." Napoleon said. "This way." He ran off down a long narrow corridor surrounded on all sides by hot, whirring machinery. Blunk, Elyon, and Miranda followed. They winded their way through twisting passageways, arriving just in time to see their quarry disappearing up the stairs.

"We follow?" Blunk asked.

"Not so fast." Napoleon said. "This is where we should split up, come at them from different directions. I'll follow up here, the rest of you should look for another stairwell."

Miranda said "Good thinking. We can cut them off, leave them without a way out."

"Blunk wondering, what we do when we catch them?" the Passling asked.

Elyon answered 'The same thing we did last time we caught them. Tie them up, phone in an 'anonymous' tip to Irma's dad about where they'll be."

"Actually, maybe you should just stay here where it's safe your majesty." Napoleon said to Elyon. When Miranda nodded in agreement the Queen was surprised.

"What? You know I'm not staying out of this!"

"Yeah, we know." Miranda said with a grin, "But we also know Caleb would have both our heads if we didn't at least try."

"This is true. I'll tell him you tried. Now let's go." Napoleon ascended the stairs behind Johnny and Frankie, while the others searched for another way up. Padding quietly upwards, the cat found himself on, appropriately enough, a catwalk. It was suspended above a series of open-topped vats containing various colognes at different stages of being mixed. The two crooks were visible about twenty feet away, walking in the opposite direction. He followed, still undetected.

Meanwhile, Blunk had found a second set of stairs about a hundred feet to the west, and began climbing while Elyon and Miranda continued searching for their own way up. At the top, Blunk peered around the corner and saw the men walking towards him. He waited, wanting to spring out at the best possible moment.

On the floor below, Elyon and Miranda found a freight elevator. "Should we use this?" Miranda wondered.

"I dunno… I kinda expect it'll make a lot of noise." Elyon replied. "On the other hand, there is another option here." She grabbed ahold of the drive cables and started climbing. "Good thing I did well in gym class."

"You know," Miranda said, "When future historians study this part of Meridian's history, they'll never believe the Queen actually did things like this…"

Elyon stopped climbing and looked down. "I'm not exactly orthodox, am I?" she asked.

"Not even close."

Johnny and Frankie made their way carefully along the narrow catwalk. "I think we tooks a wrong turn Johnny." Frankie said.

"Yeah. Dere's no control center ups here." Johnny answered. He looked around. "Look, dere's another staircase up here. We'll takes it back down, finds a ways outta here."

"Sounds good Johnny." Frankie said. But as they approached the stairwell, suddenly Blunk leapt out at them.

"Raargh!" he exclaimed like before, "Me scary goblin! Give up now, me let you live!"

Abandoning the caution with which they had previously walked the narrow path, both men turned and started to run back the way they came from. They made it less than half-way back to the first stairwell when they saw something that made them stumble to a halt. A small black cat sat in their path.

"Johnny, dat's da cat what was laughin' with da goblin!" Frankie said.

"Hello boys." Napoleon said. "How about you just give up now and save us all a lot of trouble?"

Both men stared down at Napoleon. "Youse can talks?" Frankie exclaimed. "Aw man, jus tink o da moneys we could makes with a talkin' cat on our sides Johnny!"

"Yeah, well dis one ain'ts on our sides." Johnny replied. "Maybe ifs we back away slowly like…" Johnny started to do so, then looked over his shoulder. Blunk was still coming up behind them. "Then agains, a cat, evens a talking cat, should be easier ta gets past than a goblin…"

As Johnny turned back towards him, Napoleon said "You think so bub? Well, lemme ask you a question: You humans keep your pet dogs in all different sizes, from five pounds to over a hundred. But all your pet cats are little. Why do you suppose that is?"

Johnny and Frankie looked at each other, confused. "What is this, a pop quiz? I dunno, why?" Johnny asked.

"Simple:" Napoleon answered. "A hundred pound dog is a friendly German Sheppard that loves you. A hundred pound cat is an apex predator that eats you."

Still confused, Frankie asked "So? What's dat got ta do withs anything?"

"This." Napoleon answered. He then transformed into his Regent form.

Frankie screamed, while Johnny pulled him back saying "We takes our chances wit da goblin! Runs Frankie!"

Blunk was continuing forward along the catwalk when he felt a sudden heavy vibration go through the metal. It continued and grew stronger, accompanied by a clanging sound. Then the two men he had been pursuing suddenly came running straight towards him at full speed. Blunk screamed but didn't have time to run, nor anyplace to move out of their way. Johnny reached him first, shoving through and forcing the Passling off balance. Half a second later, Frankie barreled through as well. Blunk was knocked loose from his handhold and fell towards an open-topped vat of cologne ingredients…

As they reached the top level of the elevator shaft, Elyon and Miranda heard a loud scream, followed by another, louder shriek in a more familiar voice. They looked just in time to see the Passling falling into the top of a cologne tank. "Blunk!" Elyon shouted.

"I've got this." Miranda said. She pushed off from the cable and transformed, midair, into a large hawk. Flying now, she swooped down into the tank and plucked Blunk out of the liquid, carrying him back up and depositing him on the catwalk. She then landed and returned to her human form.

Still shaking with fear, Blunk gasped out his gratitude. But as everyone gathered around, he noticed something… "No!" he screamed, "Where Blunk's smell? Blunk not smell himself!"

"Whoa. I can't even smell you." Elyon said. "I can't smell the cologne you were dipped in either though. Weird."

"I guess the two scents cancelled each other out." Napoleon said. "How about that, a stink-free Passling."

"This horrible." Blunk muttered. "This is like, worst day ever of Blunk's life. First lose house, then insulted by morons, now Blunk even lose his smell." He shook his head sadly.

Elyon said "Well… Now that you don't smell, I'm sure mom and dad won't mind if you stay in our basement 'til you get your new house built. That's something good, right?"

"Blunk suppose so." The Passling answered. Then, "Hey! Where dumb crooks go?"

"They got away while we were worried about you." Miranda answered.

"Don't worry, they can't have gone far." Napoleon added. He then ran off in the last direction he had seen the men running. Blunk followed, grumbling about _really_ having a score to settle now, and the girls followed along behind.

"We dids it Johnny!" Frankie exclaimed as they ran out the front doors of the factory. "We got's rid o da goblin! It's drownen in perfume!"

"Outta da fryin' pan Frankie, but into da fire." Johnny answered. "Goblin down, giant cat-thing still after us!"

"Oh, yeah. Whatsa we do Johnny?"

"For nows, jus' keeps runnin'. I'll tink 'a something."

Several minutes later Napoleon, having followed the men's trail outside and down a back street, stopped behind a large bakery. He could still smell the trail, but was waiting for Blunk and the girls to catch up, because something he saw on the building's loading dock had given him an idea. "What's up cat?" Elyon asked as she approached.

Napoleon replied "Take a look." He continued to look towards the dock. He explained his plan. As he did so, a malicious grin spread across Blunk's face.

"Blunk like plan." The Passling said. "Let's do it."

Nodding, Napoleon leapt up onto the dock, confirmed no one was around to see him, and went to work. Within two minutes, they were ready. "Now," he said, "Let's find the losers and put an end to this chase…


	7. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.

Author's Note: Apologies for the extremely long for me delay in getting this last chapter up. The workload for my last couple of classes has been brutal.

"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter Six

While Napoleon and Blunk stayed behind at the bakery to set the main part of the cat's plan into effect, Miranda tracked the hoodlums further down the alleyway. She finally caught up with them about two blocks away and watched as they slipped into an abandoned warehouse building. "Perfect…" she thought as she dialed Elyon's cell phone.

"Have you got them?" Elyon asked when she answered, "Because we're ready here." The Queen looked down at Blunk, who was now coated head to toe in flour Napoleon had gotten from a pallet on the bakery loading dock. The Passling looked like a ghost which was, of course, the whole idea.

"These two are chickens," Napoleon had said earlier as he explained his plan, "And now they're freaked-out running scared chickens who think they killed the 'goblin' that was chasing them. So what we'll do is this: Miranda, I need you to follow and find out where they are. Meanwhile, I'll tear open one of these sacks of flour and coat the little guy so he looks like a ghost. Then when you find them, let us know and the Queen here can teleport us in front of them."

"I get it." Elyon had answered, "They'll think the ghost of Blunk has come back to haunt them. But how will that make them give up any easier than what they've already seen?"

"You'll see." Napoleon replied. He leaned over and whispered in Blunk's ear. As he talked the Passling had started grinning…

And so now, Miranda said to Elyon "They just went into a building. I think it's empty. I'm sending you the location now."

Elyon teleported herself, Blunk, and Napoleon into the abandoned warehouse. Luckily, they arrived in a perfect location, within sight of Johnny and Frankie but hidden behind a partition. "You're on Blunk." The Queen said, "I'll try to provide some light effects to make it more convincing."

As Johnny and Frankie slowly walked through the building, having no idea what to do next, they heard a low moaning sound coming from behind a nearby partition. An eerie light began to glow from behind it, followed by a moaning sound. Then, from behind the partition appeared…

"It's him!" Frankie screamed. "But… But we's killed him!"

"Lookit him Frankie, all white! He's a g g g ghost!" Johnny exclaimed.

Blunk slowly approached the terrified men, who were rooted in place in fear. Then he said what Napoleon had told him to say: "Me Blunk! Me scary goblin ghost! But, me not want to hurt you…"

The two men looked at each other, then back to Blunk. "You don't?" Johnny asked.

"No, alive or dead Blunk nice guy. Blunk just want you stop being crooks. And now that Blunk dead, Blunk have new friends to help."

"New friends?"

"Yes. You will be visited by three spirits…." Blunk began to say. Before he could finish the line, he was interrupted.

"Aw no, dis is no goods Johnny!" Frankie said. "It's like dat Christmas story, but I bet's deese'll be like, da ghosts of _crimes_ past, present, and future or something! And Johnny, we boths know da ghost of crimes future'll shows us our own graves!"

Johnny looked at Blunk. "I don't want's ta sees my own grave!" he exclaimed. "Isn't dere any ways youse can lets us outta dis?"

Blunk pretended to look thoughtful for a moment, then answered "Well… Blunk suppose if you go back to jail Blunk could call it even…"

"Youse gots a deal!" Johnny shouted. Both men held out their hands as if to be handcuffed.

"Little problem." Blunk said, "Ghost not solid. How Blunk tie you up?"

Johnny and Frankie looked at each other. "I guesses da cat-thing could do it, if's hes'll promise not's ta eats us…"

"That not a worry." Blunk answered. "He only eats cat chows."

"And besides," Miranda said, appearing from behind the wall, "I'll do it."

Still shaking in fear, the two hoodlums allowed themselves to be tied up. "Now what's happens?" Frankie asked.

"Now you two wait right here." Miranda answered. "I'll call the police to come get you. But don't try anything funny. Blunk'll be watching from the afterlife and he'll bring those other three spirits if you so much as twitch."

"We won't move a muscle, wills we Frankie?"

"No Johnny, anyting ta not's be haunted…"

"Alright. The cops'll be here soon." Miranda walked away, while Blunk made his exit to "the afterlife" look convincing by leaving through a fold…

Tom Lair was sitting at his desk when the phone rang. He answered to hear Elyon on the other end. "You've got what? Really? Okay, gimme the address." He wrote down the information as Elyon gave it, then said "You're pulling my leg on part of this right? Surely even those two weren't dumb enough to fall for a 'Christmas Carol' spiel."

"No joke." Elyon answered. "They were falling over themselves afraid of the 'Ghost of Crimes Yet To Come' showing them their own graves."

Laughing, Tom said "You girls have got to start video taping this stuff. I wanna see it. Anyway, I better go before they get more bored than scared and run anyway." Hanging up, Tom called his patrol partner over. "Anonymous tip on where we can find the losers that tried to kill Judge Cook."

"Excellent. I'll gather up some back-up."

Soon, the police arrived at the abandoned factory, where they were surprised to not only find their quarry, but find them already tied up and terrified. "What in the world happened here?" one of the officers asked.

"Oh, jus da usuals fors us these days." Johnny answered. "Goblins an ghosts an big scary were-cat things… Look, why don'ts youse jus gets us ta jail before they come back agains?"

The police exchanged wary glances at each other. "And I thought they were nuts when they claimed fairies told them to kill the judge." Tom's partner said.

"Nah, youse gots it all wrong see? We's tried ta kills da judge ta gets rid 'O da fairies." Frankie corrected.

"Oh well that changes everything." A female officer said rolling her eyes. "Come on you two, let's go." Johnny and Frankie were pulled to their feet and walked towards the exit.

As they walked towards the waiting patrol cars, Frankie said "Hey Johnny? Whats'll we do if da Goblin lied and shows up at da jail after alls?"

"Good point Frankie." Johnny answered. He turned to Tom. "Hey cop, Is dere any chance wes could gets a priest to, like, exorcise our cell? You know, ifs da goblin does show up? Or maybes bless it so da goblin can't shows up in da first place?"

Tom simply laughed and opened the back door of his car.

Elsewhere, Napoleon, Blunk, and the girls were walking back in the direction of Cassidy's apartment. "Well, I'm glad that loose end is taken care of." Elyon said. "The city's safer with those two out of circulation."

"They're safer themselves too." Napoleon agreed. "Let's face it, they're both WAY too dumb to be on their own."

"Blunk just wish he could have gotten more payback." The Passling said. "Goblin big insult to Passlings."

Napoleon answered "You could always sneak into the prison through the air ducts and visit them nightly 'til they're driven mad." Feeling stares on his back, the cat turned to face an unamused Elyon and Miranda glaring at him. "What? I didn't say he should, just that he could."

"That okay." The Passling said. "Blunk have better plan anyway. You think Mr. Lair could get Blunk copies of mugshots?"

Miranda asked "Why would you want… …You're gonna put their faces on dummies and throw darts at them aren't you?"

"Why not?" Blunk asked, "Less mean than cat's idea but just as satisfying."

Laughing, Elyon said "I'll talk to Irma, see what we can do for you."

"Good. Now that that settled, can big cat maybe help Blunk move new house things? Kind of heavy to drag across town…" Napoleon just shook his head, realizing he was probably going to be the passling's go-to guy for help from now on…

Fin~

Author's note: My next story is the Miranda-centered 'Redemption's Flame.' It's started, but I'll probably wait until it's finished to start posting so that I can avoid the kind of extended delays I had here.


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